sleeves

Well here I am again and although last post was rather bold for me I am glad I did it. I have struggled all my life with people pleasing and i’m growing weary of it, I’d always heard women say that when you turn 40 that you start to come into your own voice and sense of self, well I’m not seeing that for myself hopefully i’m just a late bloomer.my concern is that I won’t ever see that for myself.
I desperately want to embrace who I am as a woman and seek to care more about my own emotional needs etc. but i’ve been so well trained by my family of origin to downplay myself. I always make excuses for others sins and beat myself up for mine, reasoning that only smarter, prettier, talkier etc. etc. people can have flaws and still be accepted,you however can’t because you have to be perfect because of your imperfections.
That even sounds funny to me!!
So anyway, yeah i’m just frustrated with my quest for perfect performances and rave reviews following. So from now on I will be trying to just be myself as I get to know more about who that is.

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